Christmas and Hospitality

Christmas is a time of visiting and visits. We will see family members we have not seen for quite some time, those we love, and those we do not like. I know what you are thinking: “Oh, you’re going to tell me to reconcile the differences I have with my family members huh?” Well, not quite. Reconciliation is grace. It is not something we do on our own. Most of the time healing our differences takes time. The human heart is fragile and for some reason, it takes time to heal. What is important is recognition of reality, attentiveness to value, to be aware of one’s own needs. Unless we are aware that we need to be reconciled, we will never want to forgive or ask for forgiveness. This awareness takes time and begging.

Although it is tough for us to reconcile the differences we have with each other, Christians are required to be hospitable. This is not the same thing as having a façade smile or being “nice.” A Christian is not called to be “nice.” There is a certain bluntness a Christian must have, a firm conviction of truth. Yet, we are called to be hospitable: “anticipate one another in showing honor”(Rom. 12:10); “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling” (1 Pet. 4:9-10); “Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels” (Heb. 13:2). We see this clearly in Abraham when he saw three men coming towards him, and in fact, we see that he has served the Lord. If hospitality is not being nice, then what is it? Hospitality requires first and foremost an awareness of the human person’s relation to the Infinite. This is why hospitality is not being generous so that you can take something from the other. Hospitality is the response to the human person’s value. Because I see that this person has dignity, has intrinsic excellence, he ought to be accepted and loved. Again, this is very hard when the other person has committed a fault against us. Yet, at the same time, it means that we cannot define that person to what he does. We must see that the other person has the same desire as we do, a desire to be happy, to love and be loved, to be amazed at something beautiful, to be with God. To see this, to see the human person as he was made to be, that is, to be with God, we begin to see his intrinsic excellence and beauty. We do not accept and love the person by what he can do for us. This does not mean that we do not love in order to receive love. It is perfectly fine to love someone so that you can receive love. If to love another person means to do what is good for him, and what is good for him is to love, especially to love you, then you would want him to love you. There is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting requited love. God Himself became man so that He can receive love; He knew that it is in loving Him that will make us happy.

It is good to cook many foods and present one’s house in a fashionable manner. At the same time, we must always look at the story of Jesus, Mary, and Martha. Martha was busy trying to serve the Lord while Mary was sitting and listening to Christ. This is what might have happened. If you want to look it up, read Luke 10:38-42. Martha heard that Christ was coming. Christ was a friend of hers and she knew that there is something exceptional in this man. Not only was he becoming a famous teacher, but he looked at her with an attentiveness that she had never experienced. Martha has never seen such a man before. She has never seen a man so serene, so generous, so attentive to one’s needs, so firm, and so loving. He has helped her in a way that no one has ever helped her before; she realized herself through him. So she heard that he is coming again. As a sign of gratitude and hospitality, she cleaned her house and wanted to have a presentable meal. Mary, on the other hand, was not the best helper. She was busy doing other work and she might have been lazy. She may have even ruined a certain kind of food Martha was making. We don’t know. But we know that Martha was trying to impress Christ and there is nothing wrong in trying to impress him. Then, unexpectedly, she heard that Christ was coming earlier than what was planned. This is a great and sweet blessing of God: He comes unexpectedly and sooner than we think. He comes and the meal is not even cooked and not even prepared. The house is not in best shape. Mary, who was probably not as skilled as Martha in cooking and other things, saw Christ and entertained him. They had a regular conversation, one of those conversations that are so simple and yet memorable. Here we see that hospitality is not so much in the external things, in making our houses presentable. This is not to say that Martha was wrong. It pleased the Lord that she was doing all of those things. But Christ desired one thing: Martha herself. At the end of it all, the Lord wants you. That is it. Mary gave an example of hospitality, in keeping Christ company, listening to him. It would have been good if Martha stood still for a second and asked herself, “Why am I doing this again? Why do I want to do this? For what purpose?” Hospitality requires an awareness to what is essential, to be aware of the depth of one another. It is when we take what is essential for granted, to forget it, that we become less hospitable, become angry, and maybe even start a fight with one another.

What does Christmas mean? Corny question, yes. Simple, even more so. Why should we be hospitable? We are hospitable because we have experienced the Incarnation, God becoming man. God created all of us to be in this world. Yet, in our own sins, we have made this world to be a world which loses the grasp of value and meaning of things. Sometimes it really does feel like hell. Then we realize and experience that God is with us. In a week or so, the Church will celebrate the birth of our Savior. God became man so that He can be held, He can be touched, He can be embraced, and, like Mary did, can be kissed. This is what love looks and feels like. This is our destiny, to be with this Person. Many times we are lost in the cosmos and yet, our Lord has generously blessed us with His presence, a presence which moves and gives us the strength and endurance to be in this world. This world is not our home. Yet, God comes to us so that we can somehow feel at home, we can experience a glimpse of what it is like for what is to come. Christmas is the birth of Christ, a visible and tangible presence of God that we experience so that we can live in this world. It is the hospitality of God.